I made a post awhile ago about keeping my first tattoo a secret for a whole year from most people besides my close friends. After I got my first it was an immediate addiction. The buzz of the gun and the sensation of the needle on my skin…. better than a cigarette. In the year between my first and second tattoo appointments the ideas started flowing for my next and before I knew it I had four tattoo designs ready and waiting.
My second tattoo had to be just perfect because the meaning behind it is big for me and the design had to be exactly the way I saw it in my mind.
When I got to the shop for my appointment I handed him the cross off the chain around my neck and told him, “I want this cross with a banner wrapped around it with the Tolkein quote ‘Not all those who wander are lost.” He photocopied my cross and gave it back to me, then maybe 10 or 15 minutes later he came out and handed me his sketch. I was immediately in love! (Yes the quote – not all who wander are lost – is different but as it is now the words balance out evenly which makes my OCD very happy.)
After the actual tattoo was done my my best friend snapped this picture and I put it up on Facebook.
Now in all honesty I expected my half family to start having coronaries left and right. The big shock came when nobody got angry…. There were the standard “What did you do?”s and the “That comes off right?”s but nothing too traumatic. There was some reaction when they found out this was my second tattoo but still nothing eventful.
It did my mind good to have this not turn into a battle. At the time I was still trying to straighten my life out, figure out what was really important to me and what I was trying to pretend was important to please others. I had already started on my new path shortly before I broadcast my new tattoo but the simple act of putting it on Facebook felt like the real beginning.
I was finally letting everyone around me see the real me. No more being a different version of myself around certain people, every one saw the same me, the real me. The me with opinions, bad habits, the me that didn’t want to go out and party, the me that didn’t need fake friends, the me that had goals and dreams.
Showing my tattoo on Facebook, for the world to see, was just the beginning i needed to feel comfortable being my real self.